Copyright 2000 -- Robert Baer Jr. The Dixiecats -- "Back to the Lab" DISCLAIMER Road Rovers characters, names, situations and the Road Rovers universe are the property of Warner Bros. I, nor this script/story are connected with Warner Bros. in any way, shape or form. This document may not be publicized or reproduced in any way, shape or form. It must remain fully intact and may not be altered in anyway. It is strictly used for not-for-profit entertainment purposes only, and is not intended to infringe on any Copyrights. This story is written by Robert Baer Jr and the characters Amos Doggie, Hannah, Porthos, Felicia, Katrina, Patch, Thomas, Dr Rithour and the Gila Monster are the creations of Robert Baer Jr, copyright 1997-2000. Catman is a creation of John Butler. The Dixiecats -- "Back to the Lab" The scene is the countryside in Arkansas. The DixieCats have spent the day relaxing in the woods. Night has fallen, and the five felo-sapiens are sitting around the campfire. PORTHOS (looks at Felicia and Katrina): You two have been moping around all day, what's the matter? PATCH (interrupts); C'mon Porthos, YOU KNOW the answer to that question! THOMAS (laughs): Yeah, (mocking); Oh Catman, my shoelace is untied, would you PLEASE tie it for me? PATCH (mocking); Oh Catman, would you please wisk me away from here? You're my knight in shining armor! FELICIA (furious); SHUT UP!! KATRINA (furious, draws up fist): SAY IT AGAIN AND YOU'LL BE SPITTING OUT TEETH!!! PORTHOS (stands between them): C'mon guys, no more of this. Catman couldn't come with us, that doesn't mean we need to get nasty with each other. FELICIA (angry, point): He started it! PORTHOS (sternly): And I'm ending it here and now! It's getting late, time to turn in for the night. The Dixiecats go into their tents and are soon fast asleep. Suddenly, six shadowy figures wearing gas masks enter their two tents and spray sleep gas on the felo-sapiens. Then they carefully take the five DixieCats on their shoulders and disappear into the forest. FIGURE #1 (whispering); The sleep gas was unneccessary, they were already asleep FIGURE #2 (whispering back): The doctor said to take no chances, these cat people have special powers, that's why we had to grab them this way. The five DixieCats are loaded into a large panel truck which takes them to Rithour Labs, a research facility near the Arkansas-Texas border. When the DixieCats wake up, they find themselves strapped down securely to hospital 'tables' with several masked scientists standing around them. All five of them are 'wired' up to several machines and have "IV's" attached to their arms. Watching from behind a glass wall are Dr. Gilda Rithour and her assistant, Henry Presley. HENRY (scared): Doctor, the test subjects appear to be waking up. Should we take any precautions? GILDA (laughs): No, my frightened lacky! See those IV's in their arms? Those cats are being fed a steady dose of strong depressants. They will be unable to concentrate and use their magical abilities on us! HENRY (scared): But, these DixieCats have friends who will try to rescue them! GILDA (laughs): Let them! I could use some MORE test creatures for my experiments! (turns to monitor): Something we did to these kittens caused them to mutate into human-like magical creatures, and I'm going to find out what it was! The weakened Porthos calls out for his brothers and sisters, but one of the masked scientists puts an ether mask over his mouth and he's soon asleep again. Meanwhile, in a canoe in the Louisiana swamplands, Catman, Amos Doggie, Hannah and the Gila Monster are all quietly out catching crawdads and doing a little night fishing. GILA (shouts); Hey! When is we gonna eat! I'm so hungry I could eat a log! CATMAN (whispers): Shhhhhhhhhhhhh! Settle down Gila, you're scaring the fish away! AMOS (holding net): Dem crawdads must be a hidin' from me! HANNAH (whispers): Be patient, my dear. AMOS (nods): Amos be patient, but Amos wants crawdads NOW!!!! Amos immediately pulls up his dragnet to find..... AMOS (digs in the net): A shoe, some tin cans, wheel to a bicycle.... (angry): Now if we be huntin' trash, I bet we ends up wit a full net of crawdads, yes? HANNAH (whispers): Please be quiet, Amos, Catman is fishing on the other side of the boat and .... Suddenly Hannah and Catman each sit up in the canoe. CATMAN (turns to Hannah): You felt it too, didn't you Hannah? HANNAH (nods): Yes, something is wrong! CATMAN (shouts): It's the DixieCats! They're in trouble! GILA (turns around); How do yous guys know that? HANNAH (sternly): I could feel something... like Porthos was attempting to use his telepathic abilities... then it stopped... AMOS (growls); He and dee others be in danger! Amos feels it in his bones! CATMAN (nods): No time to waste! Here we go! Catman waves his arms and the four teleport away. Meanwhile, back at the lab. HENRY (looks up at her): Doctor, what do you plan on doing with them? GILDA (evil grin); We'll disect two of the males and one of the females to gather as much information as we can... the remaining male and female will be bred together to create fetuses we can study further. HENRY (scared): Isn't that like.... murder? GILDA (angry); They're only cats, stupid! Like all of our other lab animals, we drug them, we test them, we kill them, we disect them! It's all in the name of science! Stop whining like a little baby and prepare the examination tables in lab B for our three corpses! VOICE ALL AROUND THEM (booming): Oh no you don't wicked lady! GILDA (looks around): WHO SAID THAT?? THIS AREA IS NOT OPEN TO THE PUBLIC!!! Suddenly, Catman, Amos, Hannah and the Gila Monster appear before the doctor and her frightened assistant. CATMAN (points at the doctor); We're shutting you down, Doctor Rithour! GILDA (laughs): More test animals for my experiments! (shouts): GUARDS!!! GAS THEM!!! Three armed guards with gas masks on rush through a door and throw canisters of sleep gas at them. Hannah waves her arms and changes the gas canisters into balloons. GILDA (nods): Impressive, but now escape from this! Gilda pushes a button and a huge glass cylinder falls down on the four, sleep gas begins to fill it. CATMAN (begins to stagger); Sleep gas!! HANNAH (coughs): We gotta get out of here! GILA (angry): I'll git us all out! The Gila Monster swings his mighty 2 x 4 and strikes the glass cylinder hard, causing it to shatter. GILA (points at them): It's clobberin' time!! The Gila begins to chase the scientist and guards around as Amos, Hannah and Catman recover from the gas. HANNAH (points, looking through the glass wall): There's the DixieCats! CATMAN (points): And those humans are holding surgecal saws! AMOS (angry): We stop dem now! Amos howls at a high pitch, so high the glass wall instantly cracks and shatters into pieces. Hannah waves her arms and makes the DixieCats disappear from their tables. Catman waves his arms, instantly binding the stunned scientists with heavy ropes. HANNAH (sternly); I teleported the DixieCats back to out house, I'm going to join them there and help them recover from the drugs. You two shut this evil place down and capture Dr Rithour! CATMAN (nods): Understood! As Hannah vanishes, the Gila Monster has chased the Doctor and her assistant into the room. GILA MONSTER (screaming); Hold still, yous dingledorks! I already clobbered all your goony guards, and YOU'RE NEXT!!! GILDA (shouts): Not hardly, reptile! Gilda presses a button on her watch, making a hidden wall panel open. Before she and her assistant can reach it, Catman and Amos are standing in their way. CATMAN (angry): The game ends here, Doctor! AMOS (nods): Yeah, you be hurtin' me friends, we make you pay! GILDA (sadly): I guess you got us, I surrender.... When Catman and the Gila Monster move in closer to her, she instantly produces a can of mace and shoots it into their faces. This causes the Gila and Catman to fall to their knees, screaming in pain. GILDA (angry): Now, we escape, Henry! Amos looks around and sees all of the trapped lab animals. Many mice, a few cats, a lion cub, even several large snakes and a half grown grizzley bear. Amos waves his arms, making their cages disappear and then gives out a strange sounding howl. AMOS (shouts): Lab criiters! (points): Day be duh ones that torture ya, GIT DEM!!!! Amos waves his arms and makes the hidden wall panel disappear just as the Doctor and Henry reach it, causing them to run into the wall and fall to the floor. They are soon scared as they watch their lab mice crawling all over them, several huge snakes wrapped around their legs and the young bear and lion cubs standing over them, growling. GILDA (terrified): NO! NO!! GO AWAY!!! AMOS (growls): Now, what can old Amos do to make ye see dee light? (snaps fingers): Amos know! Amos waves his arms, instantly the Doctor and Henry find themselves strapped to hospital tables. Amos, dressed as a scientist, walks up to them holding a surgical saw AMOS (smiles); Now, ol' Amos Doggie be doin' his own experiments! The two humans scream and beg for mercy and Amos lowers the surgical saw towards the Doctor. Catman and the Gila Monster have now recovered from the mace and see what Amos is doing CATMAN (shouts): AMOS! STOP!!! GILA MONSTER (shouts): YEAH!!! DON'T USE THAT SAW!!! I WANTS TO BEAT THEM WITH MY 2 BY $ FIRST!!! The saw reaches the doctor's arm, but since it's only an illusion, the saw passes through her without doing any damage. Doctor Rithmore screams, but then breathes a sigh of relief. DOCTOR (smirks): See? You can't hurt me, dogman! You have too much of a conscience! AMOS (nods); Dat be what make me better den you two! (turns around): Catman, let ol' Amos turn dem into mice and make'm run a maze! GILA MONSTER (grinning); I'd like to see that myself! CATMAN (shakes head); No Amos, let the police handle this. I called them telepathically, they should be here... NOW! The lab room doors burst open as several police officers rush in. CATMAN (points): Here are Doctor Rithour and her assistant, officer! And I believe you'll find her guards scattered all around the buillding... unconscience... GILA MONSTER (grins): Yep, that's MY handywork! OFFICER (smiles): Good work, we've been trying to shut down this lab for years! Thanks to you guys, we have more than enough evidence to do that now! AMOS (concerned); The DixieCats! Day be at me house! CATMAN (nods): Looks like the police have everything under control here, let's go see them! Catman teleports himself, Amos and the Gila Monster to their house, where Hannah is taking care of the DixieCats. Porthos is sitting in a reclining chair, Felicia and Katrina are sitting up on the couch, Patch and Thomas are still laying on a bed in the guest room. CATMAN (looks at Hannah): How are they doing? HANNAH (sternly): Porthos is barely awake, the girls have almost recovered while Patch and Thomas are still out cold. My guess is they gave the men more depressants than the ladies. Felicia and Katrina call out for Catman, he rushes over to the couch, the two ladies stand up and hug the huge panther-sapien and cry. FELICIA (crying): It was aweful... KATRINA (crying): Being there brought back so many cruel memories... FELICIA (crying): All the things that the evil Doctor did to us! CATMAN (still hugging both of them); It's alright girls, you're safe now, and Doctor Rithmore and her group have been arrested. PORTHOS (barely able to speak): Good.... HANNAH (hands Porthos some coffee): Drink this, Porthos, it'll help you recover! PORTHOS (nods): Thank you... and thank you... for the ... rescue... CATMAN (nods): Anytime, Porthos! AMOS (angry): Dose terrible humans! How can day be mistreatin' critters like dat? (he waves his arms and grins) HANNAH (sees him); Amos Doggie, I saw that! What did you just do? AMOS (wide grin): Amos give duh Doctor and dat other goon some company! Inside the back of a police 'paddy wagon' Doctor Rithmore and Henry are arguing. HENRY (whining): I told you this was a bad idea! GILDA (angry); Oh, SHUT UP HENRY!! If I never see another lab animal again, it'll be too soon! Suddenly four boa constrictors, the bear cub and lion cub from their lab suddenly appear in front of them, advances towards them, making the Doctor and Henry scream wildly. ----------------------------------------------------------------------